second

First is young. She appears to be just below the age of drink. She has light brown hair just past her shoulders up in a mussed tie. It’s rough and exposes bits of tan scalp. She’s too tan and wears a beige tank with thick straps over a white t-shirt and jeans. She’s on her cell, an average flip that probably has a camera and multimedia features. She speaks loudly so her words ring of false import. The conversation is light and uninteresting. She carries with her a small luggage bag with handle and wheels and a large pocketed purse. She walks up and stops too close with the confidence of one who takes attention for granted. Her voice is abrasive and rings through my obtuse headphones. I hear slices of dull conversation between bursts of Bloc Party. She walks just behind me toward the doors when the train pulls up.

Second is already on the train as I step over the yellow line and she’s slightly older. She’s probably more my age. Her brown hair darker and short, barely to her shoulders, but held back with clips from her face. Over her pink-purple shirt is a gray zip-up sweatshirt that comes down just below the belt holding up here denim. She’s also on the phone, but quiet and unassuming. She stands to my left at the doors, leaning against the plexi-glass. She has a small backpack over one shoulder and a new-model Pod in her left hand. As she finishes the conversation she replaces the buds and shifts slightly to her right while passing the phone to her Pod hand. Her phone is new; an all-in-one model.

First’s conversation starts to pick up momentum. Something on the other end is “traumatic” and she relays much of her day’s events. I barely listen and turn up the music slightly. She appears to have just under fifteen pounds of excess flesh, but with the thick upper-arms it appears she tries to keep up with exercise. She probably runs at least twice a week. She looks around but never out the window. She looks people up and down, facing toward the back of the train. She stares too long, sure of herself. She reaches her right hand in and pulls her cell up to the edge of the purse to check for a message. She has a Julia Stiles look. Not that she looks anything like Julia, but she has the same dead eyes.

Second is by her lonesome. She has an unfortunate body type. It looked as though she had a thin inner-tube under her sweatshirt. She was squatty and probably almost fifty pounds heavier than her stature. She looked down almost the entire time and even moved slightly closer to the door and faced out the windows. She didn’t look around and tried her hardest to have a little impact on the ones around her as possible. It was almost as though she flattened into the hard plastic divider.

First has had everything handed to her. Guys let her pass in a busy Target isle. Her friends tell her she’s attractive, that she can get anyone. Her parents feed into her ego by letting things pass and giving her things she may not ever need. She’s in college because her friends went. She can handle herself around a book, but has trouble keeping up with conversation above a People level. She gives sympathy on the phone when she’s supposed to. She can make people think she cares. She attaches herself with any guy that will show her the attention she desperately craves. She spends frivolously because there has always been money. She sees the brighter side because there’s been no other way.

Second has had to fend for herself. She spends most of her money on the newest gadgets to impress because her looks don’t. She was ridiculed or, even worse, ignored. She spent more time around the house or with friends of similar social stature. She’s seen people around her turn to drugs and alcohol not just for a good time, but for a crutch. She reads and keeps up with the typical gossip, but tends to talk about more pressing issues. She has friends that she genuinely cares for and the relationship is mutual. Any attention is good attention, but she’s used to not having it. She’s more realistic because she has seen both sides of coin.

Who do you mildly pity? Who do you sympathize with?

First will sustain hollow relationships for most of her adult life. Her husband will feel no real connection beyond appearance and because of this, and other pressures she places on herself, she will never feel comfortable in her own skin. Her friends will have little to no attachment and thus will never have any help to offer if it’s ever really in need. She will have a social circle of other like-minded people who will raise their children in the same fashion, if at all. She will never fill a void that she doesn’t even know is there. She’ll will take things for granted that most could go through their entire life without.

Second will find a man who loves her for who she is because he has no choice. He won’t be an Abercrombie model, but he’ll be genuine and smart. Their children will have a level of common sense that First’s will never reach. They may not be as successful, but they will likely be happy for at least part of their lives. She will be surrounded by friends that will not only help her through rough times, but probably enhance her life in some way. She will be genuinely happy because she’s seen what could happen and somehow avoided it. She wasn’t encumbered by the typical social pressures because she was shunned so often. Because of this she will appreciate it.

These are fictional characters because everyone knows First will be superficially happy and Second will crave the ease at which First goes about her life. I may not ever have sex with Second, but she will be a hell of a lot more interesting than First, and for that I’d at least get something out of her being around.