change is sudden; maturity is gradual.
Maturity is typically defined by being full grown or fully developed. This is a very broad definition applied to an even broader concept. What’s to say someone is fully developed? Physiological growth and psychological growth are almost mutually exclusive.
In early stages of life, physical and mental growth happens along a relatively common time line. A child walks, on average, at thirteen months, are using vowel and consonant sounds by one year, and able to use a toilet by thirty months. But once instinctual and habitual activities are firmly within a child’s grasp their development forks sharply. The development of the mind doesn’t necessarily proceed at the same rate as the body. The pace of each is determined largely by environmental factors. How, with no scientific basis, do I know this? People around me.
Maturity, in my mind is characterized by the ability to approach a problem with reason. A mature person should be able to interact with others that have conflicting views without discomfort or aggression. A mature person may not know their faults, but accepts that they exist. A mature person keeps an open mind to opposition while articulating his or her beliefs. A mature person is sociable and polite with concern for others. A mature person realizes a need to be selfish in some situations, but strives to avoid it when unnecessary. A mature person can see past the day to day routine in favor of a bigger picture of who he or she wants to be in the future.
I’m not mature. This is pretty evident upon meeting me, but I believe i do have a leg up on most of the people my age. I can say this for many reasons, but it mostly derives from my acceptance that I’m not the only one on this planet. That’s a concept that most admit to having, but in practice have trouble adapting to. It takes the right set of factors for someone to develop to that level.
Things cannot be handed to you upon request. The value of the dollar can not be an abstract figure of speech. Along those lines, money is not something to be flaunted. Respect for others must be inherent. A general knowledge of the greater society is almost necessary. You can not be brought up to believe you are better than the masses; because you’re not.
A pitfall of many is conversation. To have a general knowledge of many things is better than to have a great knowledge of one thing. To limit your own conversation to a small set of items makes you less interesting and leaves you less interested. This will immediately leave you out of many situations. To have passion about a small number of things is unavoidable and ideal. Without passion there is no reason for living and without it you will not be able to grow in important areas.
Another is prestige through consumerism. This is extremely common around me and one of the most despicable of human traits. The ability to impress with monetary value is something that’s passed on from the wealthy and striven for by the poor. It is a worthless enterprise, but a popular one. In the same line of thought, to have money and to claim otherwise is deceptive and immediately renders you untrustworthy while you may think it’s a way to relate.
The third reason persons my age are, by nature, immature is the lack of common generosity. The compassion is fading and thus personal growth is stunted. Everyone needs someone at different points throughout their journey. Too many expect things to be owed to them. They are selfish and unreliable until they are in need of assistance. Animosity grows and, as a result, they are left with shallow relationships of little value.
So why are so many who are physically mature so far behind psychologically? In my opinion it’s a child’s parents giving them the impression they are precious. They are; every child is important, but to instill this belief at an early age is dangerous. The habits and beliefs developed at a young age have a way of staying strong throughout their lives. Money becomes more valuable than social interaction and thus a certain level of depth is forfeited.
When it comes to maturity I have much to learn, but I’ve gone through changes. I’ve made the transition from high school moron to floundering employee. I’ve had many relationships that had incredible effects on me. I’ve moved into a new state away from most of the friends I had. I’ve blacked out and stolen a car. I’ve had internal bleeding and cheated death by about a quarter inch. These have all had a profound and sudden impact, but the maturity that grew from them came with time.
There are people close to me who are at the point of physical maturity who have the social maturity of a kid in seventh grade. There are people around me who have had many more experiences than I have who still act like a freshman in college. There are others who have barely left their bubble and yet have more depth than I may ever have. Of course I’m annoyed when associating with someone who’s a social adolescent, in the same way that they would be by a child crying in the supermarket after being denied Zebra Cakes. There is a sliding scale.
So why do we claim a man can go to war at eighteen, drive a car at sixteen, yet not drink until twenty-one? Because it’s easy. It’s easy to say someone at a certain age is ready for these things. It may be based on gross generalities, but as an alternative to intuitive testing it’s extremely attractive. Until they can find a way to quickly and efficiently determine mental maturity there will be those with responsibilities they are not ready or willing to accept.
That, apparently, is just how things go.
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