looks

Perspective is at least seventy percent of reality. I personally think it’s more like ninety. We have learned to rely on our senses for reality, but they, by nature, are deceptive. But beyond just the senses there are secondary perceptions. These are based on predetermined judgments. There are many, many different examples of this, but there’s one that I’m more familiar with than the others.

My natural facial expression is not inviting. It’s not necessarily cantankerous, but by no means overtly friendly. I’ve come to terms with it. It’s notable that others were less turned off by this look about six months ago. I smile here and there, but I’m so disappointed in the majority of sheeple that I’ve lost interest in portraying myself as friendly. Fewer boisterous people interrupt my day. I’m also less likely to invite unwelcome conversation.

The reason for mentioning this is not that my natural look has changed. It still falls into the same relaxed state. What’s changed is the perception toward it. I now spend an excessive amount of time downtown. It’s a different culture within those twelve square blocks. The dress is business casual. Hair gel, briefcases, and heels run amok.

When I looked at someone with the general look of contempt in the black-on-black garb of a full-time mover there was little to know reaction. In fact, it was almost expected. I never had a second glance. If anything, the look brought a certain sense of camaraderie. When I stepped out of my ten-year-old Integra no one took the time to have an offended reaction.

But while walking between the office and the rail, or even on the rail, no one has any perspective on my financial status. There’s a perceived notion that anyone in business casual is of a certain status. I don’t normally have issue with this, because these aren’t people i would normally interact with, but I’m almost offended that people would be put off so quickly. I realize I’m not the nicest of characters, but to glare back at me as a stranger seems a little over the top.

I look the same, walk the same, and have the same look. The only thing that’s changed is the clothes I’m wearing at the time people see me and where they see me. I have to admit that I may portray more disdain while walking downtown because of my own perceptions. But it’s hard for me to believe I have a more unfriendly look while glancing at those downtown than I did when I was moving their furniture. I would actually assume I generally look more friendly.

But how I look is of little import. Instead it’s how I look through the eyes of those seeing me. And I have very little control over their eyes.