benefaction

“Hi, I’m from the College of Design and I was just calling to update you on some changes here at the U.” says the female voice on the phone. She sounds young. I’m not that far out of school myself; I should talk.

I guess they finally found my new number somehow. I’m doing alright, no complaints.

“Have you been to campus recently or heard of some of the changes here?”

Odd how I was just there for the first time in months just last weekend. Strangely, yes. I was showing the campus to a cousin of a friend of mine.

“Really? Did they like the tour?”

Yep. I’m thinking he enjoyed it. We just wandered around though.

“That’s great. Is he in the College of Design? Did you fill him in on some of your experiences here?”

Come to think of it, I didn’t really spout accolades of the school while wandering around the vacant buildings. He’s only about sixteen. He happened to be in town but I don’t know if he’s leaning toward the U or not.

“Oh, okay, sounds good. Another reason I was calling—”

Here it comes...

“—was to ask if you’re working within your major. Do you have a job around here?”

Yeah, pretty much. It’s working out pretty well and close enough to my major.

She pauses a second, maybe reading off her cue cards. “Good, good to hear. Do you still live at N88—”

Well, that’s my parents address but you can leave that down. I’ve been moving around a lot and I still go there fairly often. I don’t want them flooding my mailbox with all the junk mail that’s handed to me by my parents whenever I see them.

“Okay, I’ll keep that down as reference. Where are you living now?”

I’ve been in the metro almost the whole time, just move quite a bit within.

“Oh, that makes sense. Another reason I was calling has to do with making sure other students can afford to graduate within the College of Design like you did. With tuition as expensive as it is, we need to provide more scholarships. We’re having a pledge drive tonight and I was wondering if you’d like to donate...”

Don’t you mean the only reason for calling? You definitely caught me off guard though. Well played Alumni Cold-Caller, well played.

“You can donate a one time sum of $150 and—”

Um... sure, why not?

It’s my turn to catch her off guard. She obviously picked up on my slightly sarcastic tone and expected the brush off. “Really?” she asks, too excited. “I can either mail out a pledge card now or you can provide a credit—”

The first one; you can mail it over.

“Okay, that’s great. What’s your address?” Nice try.

You can mail it to my parents, the address on file. I’ll be there in a couple weeks as it is.

“Definitely. I’ll send that out tonight and thank you so much for your donation. Have a good night.”

Same. Memories of a friend from freshman year rush back. She had so many complaints and frustrations sparked by constant rejection by alumni barely older than herself. Other friends later into school reminisced about having worked behind those phone lines.